Bully in Sport

I played soccer for many years of my childhood. Up until high school I always played with my friends and had a great time. For the two years that I played in high school I had to go to Muscatine because my school could not field a team. My freshman year was fun. There were five other girls from my school that wen with me, I only played JV, and I was able to make a lot of new friends. Then my sophomore season came around and it was much different. All of my friends from my school decided to quit, so I had to drive down there by myself everyday. My coaches also thought I was talented enough to be a part of the varsity team, but I still mainly play JV. Now I had to practice with the varsity team everyday and felt very lonely. The girls my age were the most rude to me, mainly because they saw me as a threat. No one would include me in their conversations or wanted me to be in their group or team at practice. They also never included me in any outside activities, like team dinners or bonding. The way they treat me made me dread going to practice everyday and made me cry many times driving to and from practices or late at night after away games. 

I was starting to get more varsity playing time by the end of the year, which made me feel even more disliked by the girls. By the time regionals came around the softball season had started and I had to choose between which sport I wanted to play every night. By that point I was done with soccer and how I was being treated by the girls their that I decided to quit before the season was even over. This probably made me even more disliked by those girls, but I really did not care at that point. I was more loved and appreciated playing softball at my own school. It quickly turned into my favorite sport after that because it was so much more fun than my soccer team. So, I decided not to play soccer the next year because I did not want to feel left out and disliked anymore.

Those girls had more power over me because they had started playing varsity soccer their freshman year so they thought they were better than me and one girl’s dad was the head coach. They felt like they were invincible because of the coach and I was a threat to them after I was getting more playing time. I feel like they may have been mean to me on purpose to try to get rid of me. They had also been playing club soccer together from a young age, with the girl’s dad as their coach, so that made me an even bigger outsider. After I left t did start a movement of other girls my age leaving for relatively the same reasons.

Bullying in school

Back when I was in elementary school, I unfortunately noticed a good amount of bullying. Everyday at recess, we would always get everyone together and play soccer. We would all circle up and decide who the captains were going to be and then start to pick teams. One of my classmates was a little overweight and had a hard time running up and down the field a lot of times. He knew he was overweight but this didn't stop him from wanting to play with us because he loved soccer so much. He would always wear soccer jerseys to school and talk about the games that were on TV the night before. As we started to pick teams each day for recess, he would always be picked last and sometimes the captain would make a face or noise of disgust when they had to have them on their team. When you would look at his face, he would never look upset about being picked last because all he wanted to do was to just be able to play. But as soon as people started to make the faces and noises, i could see that it took a toll on him a little each time. Each day of recess would go by and the same thing would happen each day. Except some days when we had an uneven amount of kids, they would tell him that he had to sit out because in order for the teams to have an even amount someone had to. This made him upset because of how much he looked forward to playing soccer each day. He didn't have a lot of friends so when he had to sit out, he would usually just sit alone and watch, rather than going to play something else with other kids. I felt like by this happening each day, it was taking away his love for the game of soccer. He wasn't the type of kid to go to the teacher and tell on the kids who were making fun of him. In this situation, he had no power at all because of him being outnumbered and not willing to stand up for himself. All the power was in the hands of the kids who would pick teams, laugh at him and make jokes about him. Even though he wasn't the best person physically to choose on your team, he knew more about soccer than all of us combined probably. The situation only existed in the first place because nobody wanted to be the one to stop it or say something.

 I remember one day, he asked if he could be a captain and almost everybody started laughing at him. This made me upset because he found the courage to ask if he could and everybody just laughed. After seeing that, i thought to myself that maybe i can do something to change things around. I was a pretty quite kid back then and never really wanted to be a captain because i didn't like being in the spotlight choosing my friends over others. But the day that kid asked to be the captain and everyone laughed, i saw an opportunity. After everybody stopped laughing and they were deciding who would be the captains, i raised my hand. Some were shocked to see me do that but i had a good relationship with almost everyone so they weren't going to shut me down. As i started to pick my team, i choose some of my closest friends first and then very shortly after, i choose the kid who would be bullied and picked last all the time. I could see his eyes open really wide and shocked he was being picked in a position that wasn't last. Other kids looked at me in shock and confusion as to why i did that and i didn't say anything or do anything. I just acted like it was a normal pick. We would end up loosing that day of recess and kids came up to me saying things like "why did you pick him", "We lost because he was on our team", and "How could you choose him over me". I would just ignore them and laugh a little because i knew what i was doing and others didn't see it. As the next couple of weeks went by, i would try and become the captain each time i could. Some days i wasn't able to because they wanted new people and those days he was chosen last again and again. Everyday i was a captain, i made sure to pick him pretty early because i knew it was going to make his day. 

Bullying

When I played softball in high school, there were many cliques within the team. A lot of who belonged to which clique depended on how the coach felt about you at the time because, aside from skill, playing time mainly came from who could shove their head up the coaches butt the most. The reason that it all started is because high school girls can be cruel; but, even more so when placed in a competitive setting.  I was never one of the favorites and most of the things that were said about me didn't phase me. There was another girl who also only fit in from time to time and she one of our main pitchers, who was not the average "body type" of a pitcher and she was often made fun of for not being able to run as fast as the others and unless she was on a hot streak on pitching well, she was often made fun of. A lot for the time it didn't affect her unless she was also not having a good day; but then the other girls on the team would take it further and would rarely console her. "you shouldn't do that." "You need to toughen up."
"you should feel that way." there were more things said about her, than promotion of her, even when she was doing well, even knowing that almost all of the rest of us on the team could not do what she did and throw the ball the way that she did.
I did not join into the banter that the other girls on the team would say about her; but sadly, I did not say anything against them or stop them from saying what they said.
I didn't end out my senior year of high school on the team due to a knee injury, but from the couple of real friends I had on the team would tell me that the cycle never ended.
Some of the cliques and negative speech didn't end until 2 of the coaches left.

Bullying in Sports

The locker room is the heart of high school sports, its where the drama happens, the tea is spilled, team bonding occurs, and  it is an unique environment that stems off of the world of sport. The locker room is a key aspect of the world of basketball, its where the team gets ready together and hyped up for games and it is also gossip central. During my freshman year of basketball, we, the freshman team, were all hanging out in the locker room either before or after practice and the gossip started up. This one girl, Emily, got everyone's attention and showed the group a comparison picture of one of my closest friends, Kaelyn, and her brother, which is who Emily was dating at the time, and was questioning how the same parents could have made such an attractive son and then have 'that'. Emily was bullying my friend behind her back on the basis that Kaelyn does not look like the stereotypical 'it look' of an attractive high school girl. Emily probably did not know it at the time, and neither did I, that she was imposing the "fit look" mold that is forced onto every female athlete through society as Shultz discusses in her books. Emily was degrading Kaelyn solely based on her looks. During Emily's mockery of Kaelyn I sat there quietly while one of my closest friends was bullied behind her back. At the time I was a small freshman with low self-esteem, confronting issues, and was terrible at standing up for people and even myself. Emily was one of the popular, it girls of my class and I did not have enough confidence to stand up to her in front of the whole freshman basketball team to defend my friend. I still regret not standing up for her then. Within this incidence the imbalance of power was in Emily's favor, in high school the popular kids always had the advantage with social power compared to someone who was not popular. My friend's power was being chipped away before my eyes and I did not have enough power within myself to stand up to someone with greater power. If I would have spoken out and told her to stop making fun of my friend she might have and I could have saved my friend from more of Emily talking sh*t behind her back. Later, I did tell Kaelyn what happened so she would know the type of person Emily is, so she can prepare or guard herself from Emily's hurtful stabs. The feeling of disappointment in myself for not being strong enough to defend one of my closets friends to this day still haunts me and the next time one of my friends is being mistreated, mocked, or anything that stems from bullying, I will not just sit there quietly and listen to it. 

Unsportsmanlike Conduct

In lacrosse and I would assume many other sports many one on one situations are forced in the attempt to up the score. When athletes,  myself included, look to force these one on one situations many factors are scouted out. I am a taller girl who is considered ambidextrous in my sport, which is sometimes a strange thing to come by. When I look to force one on ones I tend to look for people smaller than me, with less stick skills and for someone who looks like they dont know whats going on. This is a normal occurrence in the sport. Forced one on ones that lead to goals. 

On almost every team I have played on over the years, there is a name/phrase we use to alert our team that we want to isolate the weakest link on the defence. The call is always “Nemo!” or “Bambi”, which as we all know from growing up watching disney movies as weaker animals. Nemo had his bad fin, and Bambi was an extremely small deer who was an easy prey. Although this practice alone may seem not like bullying, it's usually what happens after that is the issue. Another normal aspect of the game is one's competitive edge. Everyone wants to win, so when you or a teammate score a celebration is in order. 

The St. Ambrose women’s lacrosse team is usually applauded on our good sportsmanship, and it's something our team as a whole takes great pride in. Unfortunately one game last season this was not the case. We were playing a conference game against a team that was not as good as us skillswise, and this was something we all knew going on. One of my teammates took advantage of our nemo call on many occasions and it was always against the same player on defense. The defender that was being repeatedly called out was clearly upset and her team was taking it out verbally on her. My teammate was also having a field day taking advantage of this girl. After my teammate scored yet another goal on this defender she started to cry and instead of reading this as a sign to stop, my teammate, whose name I will not use, got in her face and said something along the lines of “this is part of the game and if you can't handle it, you shouldn't be here”. 

A lot of people on the field missed this encounter, but as someone who heard it first hand I was worried and didn't really know what my place was in it. After my teammate had walked away I went over to comfort the upset defender but had no idea what to say, her teammate was still yelling at her. I waited for the field to be reset and made sure that I was the defenders mark the rest of the game, to insure that my teammate didn't have the opportunity to utilize her weakness again. 

I wish I would have known what to say or had pulled my own teammate back when she started going at her, but in this situation as a bystander I feel guilty for not having stepped in to do the right thing. Bullying in sports to me is seen as unsportsmanlike conduct. With this being said though I think there's still a way for us as athletes to maintain our competitive edge without becoming a “bully”.

Bullying and the Not-So-Blindside of Sport - Taylor Swanson

     In today's society, it is unfortunately no secret that an array of bullying and cyber-bullying occurs to a significant amount of people--those of all ages, genders, races, and sexual orientations. Furthermore, this horrendous experience is certainly not absent in the world of sport and physical culture. In fact, for most young people who do endure a form of bullying, it can often be found at the root of this individual's ability, knowledge, and appearance while playing a sport. While pondering over my own past of participating in various physical activities, one experience stands out to me above all others. During my junior year of high school--and my third year of playing varsity volleyball--my team endure an immense amount of bullying for classmates and peers that were suppose to be nothing but supportive to us.
     In this specific year of  my high school volleyball career, our varsity volleyball team started out the season with a bang. Our team had energy, excitement, and immense teamwork that ultimately set us out to have a great--and winning--season. The pure adrenaline and excitement was even more prevalent when our small-town high school entire the famous Homecoming Week. A week that was supposed to be filled with fun games, school spirit, and certainly not any real homework. For our small high school, one of the most exciting parts of homecoming week was Senior Skits: a Friday morning that allowed all seniors to participate in various self-prepared skits. These skits were meant to look back upon good memories of the senior class and provide some humor to the students, faculty, and staff of Prophetstown High School. However, when a large group of senior football players put on a skit mocking the varsity volleyball team, it's players, and their abilities, the fun of senior skits was quickly wiped away. These boys even went as far as wearing colored wigs and specific numbered jersey to accurately describe the player they meant to mock. Despite our impressive start to the season, these boys displayed our team in a horrible light, and ultimately took all of the power and momentum we had gained from our impressive wins away from us. Each little dig throughout the skit chipped away at every bit of confidence and excitement our varsity team had. And, why? Because our varsity volleyball team was having a winning season, and the football team wasn't? Overall, it was a horrific bullying act that was meant to degrade the team's confidence in the team as a whole, and in individual players. Fortunately, despite this horrible stunt, our team stuck together and pulled out an amazing season of high school varsity volleyball.

Here is a picture of our varsity volleyball team, which unfortunately, also underwent an immense amount of criticism and bullying within this Senior Skit from our fellow classmates and peers. 

Bullying in Sports

Growing up, I had always been involved in sports. I played basketball for about 10 years and soccer for about 15 years. I loved both sports but I liked soccer more. Both sports had taught me valuable life lessons and I made life-long friends. I had the same teammates for both teams since we were a small school so we were all close. But then things changed senior year that caused a lot of drama between the teams. The difference in my soccer and basketball teams was that in soccer, we were really good, basketball not so much. Especially senior year of basketball we did not play well as a team and in turn lost a lot of games. Us not playing well together was the result of abuse of power and "playing favorites." My coach was new that year and basically only got the job because his daughter was on the team. She was our point guard, was fast and skilled, and everyone liked her. But she had shady friends and got in legal trouble a lot with the police or the school. During our senior year, her father (our coach) decided that his daughter should still start and play after being suspended. She was supposed to be suspended for 4 weeks, but since she was the coach's daughter she came back early after just a week and a half. Our coach also not only favored her over everyone else, but he made the season brutal. He was rude, sexist, and totally abused his power. He made girls cry, benched people for no reason, and that eventually made another girl and I quit because we could not deal with it anymore. In his position as head coach, he abused his power and took advantage of his position to express his views upon us. So I witnessed and experienced being belittled by not only an adult, but someone who worked in a school and dealt with the same thing he was doing to us. He never let our assistant coaches say anything or help out, so they knew what was going on too. They eventually went to the athletic director about it, but the athletic director was a good friend of our coach so nothing ever came of it. So not only was our coach corrupt but the whole system and administration was. Girls on the team felt scared, unsafe, and unsure about themselves because of this situation. It all started when he got hired in the first place for the wrong reasons and he had the wrong intentions. He only wanted to make his daughter look like a star and couldn't care less about the rest of the team. Eventually players, parents and other faculty members decided to take it all to the school board and finally he was asked to resign, but of course it was after he gave his daughter All-Conference honors for the season. Thankfully others will never experience that and I wish I had stood up to him earlier than I did. Not one of us deserved his abuse of power and it ultimately broke up friendships and caused a rift in us in the upcoming soccer season. It was a big loss for everyone because as stated in Women and Sport in the United States, "athletic competition can increase self-confidence and self-esteem," (Schultz, p. 67) and those of us who went through this experience had the complete opposite effect. I am just happy that high school girls now will never have to go through that pain and anger that many of my teammates and I did.

Schultz, J., O'Reilly, J. & Cahn, S. K. (Eds.) (2019). Women and sports in the United States: A documentary reader. (p. 67). Hanover, NH: Dartmouth College Press.