Gender Expressions Throughout My Life

When I was a little girl, I was raised as a girl meaning that I was dressed in all the pink, girly things ranging from dresses to skirts. But my problem was that I didn't act the part of being a little girl in girly things. I would always play outside and play rough with my little brother at home and never had any problems. When I went out in public with my family my mom would always lecture me that I wasn't acting "lady-like" enough or the "that's not lady-like" line was fed to me whenever I didn't sit the correct way, use the correct manners, etc. Even at school, I played rough, always got in trouble for playing too much and getting too dirty. I gave up on the girly dressing and started dressing like the tomboy I am. I grew up playing many sports and and most of the time I was always the most aggressive player on the field/court. I loved to play physical and to beat my opponent to the ball or make sure they didn't get to it under any circumstances. Luckily I was never critiqued on my aggressive way of playing because I was a girl. I was able to vent out some 'masculine' side of me through sports, which helped a lot, but that still didn't stop me from. Since my childhood experience of never acting "lady-like" enough still effects me to this day; I still dress like a tomboy, I don't ever wear make-up, or dresses unless I have to.