Get Me Bodied: Embodying Gender Throughout the Lifespan

How on Earth did we ever make sense of the complicated set of messages that constitute appropriate behavior?  Say please, thank you, pull in your chair, put on a shirt when you go outside (maybe).  As if being a little person isn't confusing enough, we are utterly bombarded by messages related to masculinity or femininity. When my nephew was a toddler he was a  splendidly beautiful little person with ravishingly long eyelashes, ice-blue eyes, and a killer smile (child model material if you ask me).  Today he is six.  My sister cuts his hair every four weeks and dresses him like  a charming doll, sometimes like a little Cholo, a shore man, and occasionally like a cowboy.  He's developed more personal tastes, and was very excited to show my his new Van's high tops with a checkerboard pattern.  It's obvious how this beautiful little person, who is very gentle and sensitive, is being trained within socially accepted parameters to take on his eventual role as a masculine boy.  After a little brush with a park district soccer class, my sister enrolled him in Krav Magga, an Israel-style martial art.  

Each of us were likely subjected to a similar set of conventions as small people.  Still, I can't help but wonder, how would Oliver be reared had he been born Olive?  Perhaps if he was just raised as O?  It's tough to fathom in our binary-adhering society.  I certainly do not expect my sister to buck the social conventions or industries that thrive on such gendered investments.  Enter child number two.  We all have phases right?  Well the second son in the Rodriguez household has a real penchant for all things feminine.  It's been interesting to watch the little boys figure this out, fight about it, and of course watch the family negotiate child #2's desire to be more like Selena (Gomez or Qunitanilla), than Javier Hernández.  That being said, as a scholar who studies power, I am always looking for possible modes and moments of intervention.

For this week's entry, I'd like you to reflect on one of your earliest memories about "being a girl" or "being a boy," good, bad, or otherwise.  You can investigate a moment where you did it right, transgressed, or struck some middle ground.  While painting this picture be sure to show, rather than tell.  Consider the way that folks around you communicated positive or negative message about your body related to the way you enacted your gendered identity in this moment.  Last, briefly consider how these types of moments have influenced your current relationship with your body.  How does, if at all, this relationship extend to your moving body?  Try to engage with what Vikki Krane Et Al. (2001, 81-100), refer to as the paradox of the female athlete.  This might be easier for women in our class, but I know then men can also engage, especially if you were in activities that weren't/aren't as hegemonically masculine (I believe in you).  

As a little girl, I felt a distinct sense of pride that I resembled the white feminine celebrity who endorsed the Thigh Master (at least while I was wearing my hand-me down-leotard).  Much of this cultural capital was shattered when I traded in my shiny blonde chin-length bob for a more sporty Janet Evansesque crop.  Paging Kerry Strug!!?  I wanted to look like the beautifully powerful swimmers and gymnasts who I admired in the 1996 Summer Olympic Games in Atlanta, GA. I learned quickly that this was a serious social misstep.   For a majority of my junior high and high school life I was teased and bullied by peers for such a seemingly innocent choice.  "There's a boy in the girl's bathroom!"  If I never hear that phrase again it will be too soon.  However, I held my hairy ground, shaved my legs occasionally, and tried my best to be myself, braces, acne, and all.  Straight teeth didn't protect me as an exuberant participator in high school PE classes from being taunted as a "she-man," "dyke," "Amazon," and "beast." I am also very lucky that girls weren't punished as strictly as were boys when they fought or retaliated with force.  Today I revel in an avant garde hairstyle, embrace my lack of a thigh gap, choose to shave where I want and when I want, and recognize that I have traveled with my body through injuries, changing  fashions, a variety of leisure opportunities, different numbers on the scale, and last, different notions of how to be ok, proud, and happy with how I express myself.  Is my story harrowing?  Not really.  I really had/ have a great, albeit paradoxical life as a female athlete and exerciser.  If anything, I am fueled by those memories as a researcher, teacher, and practitioner to support people to find spaces and activities that allow for them to express themselves in positive and affirming ways, gender or ability be damned.  Admittedly, I've made mistakes and constrained or oppressed people too through my own ignorance, but I'm trying to make good on those moments by making space for people and being inclusive and encouraging.   

As you search through your memories, please note that this can trigger strong feelings and sometimes unearth and elucidate memories that are uncomfortable or were once fuzzy.  If such emotions persist, please contact me and abstain from completing that portion of the assignment.  I'll be happy to provide you with an alternative one.  If you feel like you need to speak with someone, please consider some of our on-campus resources such as Counseling Services or our excellent residence hall directors.  Your target for this post is 500-1000 words with at least one picture.

References: 
Krane, V., Choi, P.Y, Baird, S.M., Aimar, C.M., and Kauer, K.J. (2007). Living the paradox: female athletes negotiate femininity and muscularity. In J. Schultz, J. O’Reilly and S.K. Cahn (Eds.), Women and sport in the United States: A documentary reader, 2nd ed. (pp. New page # pending). Durham: NC Duke University Press (Previously published in Sex Roles (2004) 50: 315-329.